By: magnolia_admin | October 2, 2017
I walked in a home to carry the dead away. The owner’s dish from breakfast sat in his sink, unwashed. He ran out of time to take care of it. His books sat on his shelves. His clock ticked on, running. But his time came.
The walls are lined with pictures – many of them old. Happy times – or times that pretended to be happy. Children. Parents. And neighbors waiting outside whisper to me “the kids won’t be here. They’re estranged.” So I look at the wall of pictures of people he doesn’t speak to. Whatever the grudge, the time for mending has passed. His pictures on the wall are just more things. Things he placed in his home so carefully – centering them on the wall and running a dust rag over the tops often enough to keep cobwebs away. They are still clear and clean. He has so many. But the things that matter, the things that aren’t things. They aren’t here.
So many houses, still and empty, where the only witness to death was silence. Homes where people surrounded themselves with junk that piled up between the walls until a path had to be carved through the rooms. Homes where the walls are bare and the furnishings stark. Surrounded by much, little, valuables, trash – we go. Hours, days, years. It all becomes the same.
And our things – our things. I’ve heard people proclaim “well they aren’t getting anything when I die, I don’t want them to have a thing.” As if it matters. As if our treasures mean anything to anyone but ourselves.
Our greatest treasures are things we dust. Or don’t dust, depending on our attention to housekeeping. And our ultimate reward to our family for their love is to be the recipient of more things to dust.
We spend our time dusting our things. Things our families don’t want. Things that don’t matter. Things that, in the end, they can’t keep themselves.
Only time. You can only leave time – time you spent with them. Time you invested in their lives, in their futures, in their joy.
I was born yesterday morning. Last night I was still young. Today I scramble backwards. And tonight I will die.
That is how it feels.
But perhaps not – perhaps days and years stretch ahead of me. Time is so fleeting – who is to know when mine is even half gone. And someday it’s all history – but everyone is focused on the past or the future or the hereafter and isn’t involved in now.
I entered this business twenty-five years ago, and yet I still don’t know the best ways to comfort, to lead, to commemorate. All I have learned is the value of time. It slips through our fingers like dust, and the longer you spend scrabbling at the ground trying to recover it, the more you lose.
I do not believe in fear.
That is not to say I am never afraid.
But I do not fear time.
My grandparents died almost twenty years ago; I would give worlds to speak to them again. I wouldn’t ask for any wise advice, or engage in any philosophical conversations. Just sit with them outside, talking about nothing at all. Waste time together. I have no regrets about the time we had because I embraced it when it came by. No regrets about the passed time – I only wish for more of it.
I do not fear time robbing my life for this reason: I have learned to value it.
And here is what a rapidly aging funeral director is spending his lifetime learning:
I close the door behind me on the clean picture frames and dirty dishes.
I leave the empty house that is full of things.
Shadows skirt across the yard.
I glance at my watch and notice that it is later than I had thought.
I take my time loading the dead.
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice,
But for those who Love,
Time is not.
~ Henry van Dyke
Greg, that is wonderful. Thanks for sharing. Joyce
Another beautiful reminder to enjoy life and be thankful for the loved ones in our lives. You should have your posts published.
so true greg!thanks for reminding us!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. We do not stop and count our blessings daily and love our family and friends. This should wake up a lot of people.
This is beautiful. Thank you, Greg, for sharing. You are a truly compassionate man.
Greg, this is well said and so much truth in it. We need to concentrate on today and not the hereafter, we have no control over that, or who gets what of our worldly goods. I have never seen a hearse with a wagon behind it carrying worldly goods and money to the grave with you.
Thank You for this, it’s the first thing I’ve read this morning. I have a house full of stuff that was my grandmothers and my mothers, no one else could bother to come pick out a rememberance. So it will sit here until it’s goes to my daughter and granddaughter. I have gotten rid of the clothing to the needy. Pictures are everywhere. My family was a large family but in the last 10 years have dwindled to 8 of our generation and our children. They may not want any of these things when I go, so you may do as your wonderful words say. Thank You for Your Words.